Personal on the 21st of June
I have written and posted the last distillation of my views
on strategy for the Scottish Theatre sector, at least until someone engages
with me seriously. I will promote these essays I’ve done on social media. They
have become my task in the last three weeks at least in part because the future
of my existing work, all the scripts, as well as my current commission for NTS,
is so radically uncertain.
This radical (as in rooted) uncertainty is in some ways just
an intensification, of course, of my usual situation: I never know the future
more than a few weeks or months ahead. I
am completely reliant on my own self-belief, and the belief that the work I and
my colleagues do is of importance to people…at least of sufficient importance
for them to fork out the occasional twenty quid for a ticket and a couple of
drinks.
So at the one time, I feel both familiarity and vertiginous
insecurity. And am consequently
creatively entirely paralysed. I can’t
even read. The campaigning over the last few weeks has been both a displacement
activity and entirely existentially necessary to me. If there is no theatre, I
have no work. Othello’s occupation’s gone. I have no purpose.
What makes me most profoundly afraid, probably, is that
theatre will come back…and come back without me. This has made me assess my assets with a
sense of some urgency. What is there in my back catalogue that can be adapted,
can be used. What do I care about enough
to seek new commissions to write about?
That “back catalogue” now includes current and delivered
commissions…five new scripts as well as all the old ones, many of them
underused. If I can create the feeling
among my peers that I am indispensable, then I have a ready-made stream of
product to show them. But I know
nothing.
Likewise, I have number of ideas and areas of interest which might be
of interest to someone in “the business” but there is no one to talk to I
haven’t talked top in Scottish Theatre, and I am pretty much unknown outside of
that circle.
I quipped early on in this crisis, I remember, that it was
entirely possible I had just retired at the end of March and I didn’t even know
it yet. Well, it’s June now, and despite
an ongoing commission for the National Theatre of Scotland…to be produced wha
kens how or when…the joke I made then seems less and less jocular all the time.
Hence, at least in part, my concern for the sector as a
whole. I have, after all, spent my working life doing what I do, I I hadn’t
bargained for being all done with it just yet.
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